As I sit in the comfort of my room, I can hear children (some of our ulpan students as well) playing outside in Jerusalem's 1st snowfall since last March. Blizzards (all 2 1/2 inches of wet, icy slush) are a rare occurrence in this part of the world. Apparently this” storm of the century" blew down off the Balkans earlier yesterday causing snow in Athens and Istanbul. In preparation of our snow day, we threw a little hamiesba (party) last night. Some of us indulged in a few too many sprits, and I kept walking in on an Argentinean dude and French chick playing hide the blintz outside my room. Names will not be mentioned but only because I don’t know who they were. Around midnight, it began snowing at a decent clip, and we all ran outside for a snowball fight. Since I fell about 3 times, my clothes were socked from head to toe. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time. Now, I grew up in Boston. I've seen my fair share of winter weather. I can vividly remember poor channel 4's Shelby Scott giving us Nor’easter updates on the beaches of Scituate. If you scroll down to one of my first blogs, I bitched and moan about the weather in Boston, but it's hard to believe I am living with people who have never seen snow before. We have one girl from Venezuela and another fellow from Australia who were as giddy as school children on a field trip. I just shrugged my shoulders but enjoyed their delight. It was a rather beautiful site to see Jerusalem covered in pure white; there's something holy about the entire scene.
In other non-meteorological news, my woes with the Hebrew language have been well documented lately. I have had some internal-struggles deciding to stay in my current Hebrew ulpan class or drop down a level. At times, I feel as though I lack a few fundamentals that Aleph Echad could provide, but after attending a class in that section, there was no way in hell I was remaining. Now, I am not above dropping down a level. If it's what's best for me, then I would gladly do whatever it takes to master this beast of a language, but I can already read, write, and speak some Hebrew. After a week of busting my ass, seeking extra help, talking to people, and a lot of deep prayer, I am beginning to understand the various verb tenses. I find its best not to become obsessed with grammatical rules and just try speaking with the idea that I'll make mistakes and people will correct me. I've never backed down from a fight, and I'm not about to start now. I won’t be challenged in the lower level. I'd rather be a weaker student in a stronger class than a stronger student in a weaker class. My pronunciation is slowly improving, and I am gaining confidence. Stay tuned for more developments.
As previously mentioned, I have "studied abroad before,” and although this isn’t a semester abroad (it's real life this time), I find some striking similarities between both experiences. I met some really wonderful people back in France, and so far the quality of people seems to have followed me to Israel. Everyday is filled with a new adventure as I learn more about Israel and the people at Ulpan Etzion. I try to meet and understand as many different people as possible. I love the Brits partly because we almost speak the same language. I have begun using such words as shoddy, pisser, minger, suspect, peculiar, and odd. It's hard to believe they taught us Americans how to speak English. There's this "one bloke" named Josh from Glasgow. He's a real interesting individual, but I struggle with his strong Scottish accent. Then, we have the lovely lighter accent of Talya from Leeds which isn't to be confused with the delightful London dialect of Tal who's become a rather resourceful study buddy. She's in a class 2 levels above me, and her mother is Israeli (real Israeli not like us fake wannabees). We worship students in higher levels.
So I keep pressing forward here in the Promise Land. I have my good days and miserable days, but I honestly wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. Even the worst of days when I cut my mouth on Hebrew, it rains, snows, or does whatever the hell it's doing outside now, all day, the South American guys and French girls laugh at me for attempting to butcher their own native tongues, the ulpan food is something survivors from Dachau wouldn’t touch, I'm sick, and I wait in line all day at the bank, post office, or health care services, but I am able to suffer here in Israel, and I am glad it's nowhere else.
Did I offend anyone with my article today? If not, no need to worry tomorrow is a new day. Please offer me feed back, or at least fed-ex some decent kosher food to Mountdew2891@aol.com
Shalomsky,
David
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
A Long, Tall Broke Back Mountain to Climb
So, I've enjoyed a nice afternoon of nothing but napping. Hebrew class was a monster this week. Yeah, I'm well aware that it was only my first week, but, it's a constant day in and day out struggle to grasp grammatical concepts and then properly implement them into everyday use. The lessons are entirely taught in Hebrew. We're discouraged from speaking in our native tongue, and since we, the students, speak 8 different languages, we usually try to rally behind Hebrew. Some sessions are easier than others; I still can’t yet distinguish between the various styles of present infinitive verbs, and my vocabulary is limited, but I am learning so much everyday. Conquering this language is like ascending Mt Everest, and I'm not even in Nepal yet. I try to remain patient; I've been here before with studying French, but that was the same alphabet. Although some students have more or even less knowledge of Hebrew, I keep reminding myself that every student is in the same boat, and we're still a float.
So, speaking of painful mountains, Heath Ledger died the other day. What the hell? We were just beginning to really enjoy this young, talented actor when he was mysteriously taken from us prematurely. I hate to be cynical (it's my dam blog so I can be) but despite what the initial toxicology reports show, this reeks of a suspicious drug overdose. I wonder if Jimmy Hendrix, River Phoenix, John Belushi, Anna-Nicole, Chris Farley, or Jim Morrison will be attending the funeral later next week? Oh, shit, they're dead too! At the risk of Ledger's death caused by natural means, in which case I will eat a serious helping of crow, I am saddened but desensitized. When will our young, gifted artists learn to control their urges? The fast-paced celebrity life-style which engulfs many doesn’t need to define Hollywood. For every Lindsay Lohen or Paris Hilton (not that either of those women are very talented), there's an Elijah Wood, Reese Witherspoon or other extremely professional prodigy who understands the importance of acting or singing/song writing. Acting is a lost art form. During the Renaissance /Shakespearean period, people acted out of love for the theatre not fast cars, easy sex, hard drugs, or bright limelight.
It was a cold, rainy week, but today was bright and sunny. We celebrated Tub' Shevat, the new year for trees, earlier in the week. We ate a lot of fruit, planted some floors, and participated in a sedar. It's not the most religious holiday in Israel, or the Jewish world, but it's important to show an appreciation for G-d's natural beauty. Tomorrow is Shabbat, and I'll celebrate it with some friends in Jerusalem proper. It's been a long, difficult week, and I look forward to resting.
Have a great weekend, Shabbat Shalom, and stay warm wherever you are!
David
So, speaking of painful mountains, Heath Ledger died the other day. What the hell? We were just beginning to really enjoy this young, talented actor when he was mysteriously taken from us prematurely. I hate to be cynical (it's my dam blog so I can be) but despite what the initial toxicology reports show, this reeks of a suspicious drug overdose. I wonder if Jimmy Hendrix, River Phoenix, John Belushi, Anna-Nicole, Chris Farley, or Jim Morrison will be attending the funeral later next week? Oh, shit, they're dead too! At the risk of Ledger's death caused by natural means, in which case I will eat a serious helping of crow, I am saddened but desensitized. When will our young, gifted artists learn to control their urges? The fast-paced celebrity life-style which engulfs many doesn’t need to define Hollywood. For every Lindsay Lohen or Paris Hilton (not that either of those women are very talented), there's an Elijah Wood, Reese Witherspoon or other extremely professional prodigy who understands the importance of acting or singing/song writing. Acting is a lost art form. During the Renaissance /Shakespearean period, people acted out of love for the theatre not fast cars, easy sex, hard drugs, or bright limelight.
It was a cold, rainy week, but today was bright and sunny. We celebrated Tub' Shevat, the new year for trees, earlier in the week. We ate a lot of fruit, planted some floors, and participated in a sedar. It's not the most religious holiday in Israel, or the Jewish world, but it's important to show an appreciation for G-d's natural beauty. Tomorrow is Shabbat, and I'll celebrate it with some friends in Jerusalem proper. It's been a long, difficult week, and I look forward to resting.
Have a great weekend, Shabbat Shalom, and stay warm wherever you are!
David
Sunday, January 20, 2008
A Failure to Communicate and "Buster" a Move
So, while the biggest game of the season is on the line right now, I am stuck in my dorm room trying to speak to the Dell computer company, via SKYPE which is the greatest technological advancement since the electronic tooth brush (Thank you Brian, you crazy bastard for introducing me), on why the Dell computer company has erroneously charged my credit card twice for the notebook I purchased 2 months ago. People complain about the red tape in Israel, but I can't escape the ridiculous pitfalls of shoddy American customer service.
Since I moved into my dorm at Ulpan Etzion last week, life has been very fast paced. I am finally situated in the posh, Crown Plaza accommodations known as communal living. Surprisingly, the food isn’t that bad (Maya keeps us entertained at meals) and the social interaction has been amazing. Thanks to our South American delegation, we seem to have a hamesiba or fiesta every night. I have never met so many sexy Latina American chicas before. I am slowly learning to salsa. You can look for me next season on the Israeli version of dancing with the stars. I have bonded with many of the Americans and especially the motley crew of British gals; you don’t speak English properly, but I still love you all the same. My roommate is the second coming of Renaldo, but his name is Tito and he's from Chile. Needless to say football (soccer) is KING around here. It's a good thing I played baseball for 10 years, or I might actually be relevant on the football field. My ulpan class (Hebrew lessons) is not too overwhelming so I don’t fall asleep out of boredom and not too challenging that I need to ask, "What does that mean in English?" a million times. We have a crazy, eclectic group of young French, American, Brazilian, Italian, Ethiopian, South African, British, Argentinean, and Russian Jews. I have never been so proud to be Jewish (except when Dana International won the Eurovision contest representing Israel a few years ago) than during my brief time here at Ulpan Etzion. We have come from all over the World: industrialized countries, famine stricken, and economically oppressed lands to receive Israeli citizenship. Olim Chadashim are the future of Israel and the Jewish people, and I am glad to play a small role.
Several of us went to shul for Friday night services and the meal at the ulpan was nice. We sang all the familiar Shabbat melodies and afterwards celebrated Ezra's 23rd birthday. On Saturday, I davened (prayed) with my face comfortably planted on my pillow. When I finally awoke, I had lunch, a walk, Havdalah (the ending ceremony of Shabbat), dinner, and than I did homework. The internet was down Motsei Shabbat (after Shabbat) so to all 5 of my loyal readers I must apologize. I will try to publish posts sooner in the future, but please remember this is Israel and nothing works: early, on time, after 4 P.M. on Thursday, or with any degree of high efficiency. It feels like it’s about 30 below inside, Qassams continue to rain down on the Negev, the bathrooms flood, every Israeli speaks English to us (even those olim who don’t know English), many of us haven’t registered for national health care, some of us are poorer than dirt, the laundry machines are always occupied, but life in Israel couldn’t be any better. I’ve never gone without this long by this much while maintaining such a big, satisfied grin on my face.
Since I moved into my dorm at Ulpan Etzion last week, life has been very fast paced. I am finally situated in the posh, Crown Plaza accommodations known as communal living. Surprisingly, the food isn’t that bad (Maya keeps us entertained at meals) and the social interaction has been amazing. Thanks to our South American delegation, we seem to have a hamesiba or fiesta every night. I have never met so many sexy Latina American chicas before. I am slowly learning to salsa. You can look for me next season on the Israeli version of dancing with the stars. I have bonded with many of the Americans and especially the motley crew of British gals; you don’t speak English properly, but I still love you all the same. My roommate is the second coming of Renaldo, but his name is Tito and he's from Chile. Needless to say football (soccer) is KING around here. It's a good thing I played baseball for 10 years, or I might actually be relevant on the football field. My ulpan class (Hebrew lessons) is not too overwhelming so I don’t fall asleep out of boredom and not too challenging that I need to ask, "What does that mean in English?" a million times. We have a crazy, eclectic group of young French, American, Brazilian, Italian, Ethiopian, South African, British, Argentinean, and Russian Jews. I have never been so proud to be Jewish (except when Dana International won the Eurovision contest representing Israel a few years ago) than during my brief time here at Ulpan Etzion. We have come from all over the World: industrialized countries, famine stricken, and economically oppressed lands to receive Israeli citizenship. Olim Chadashim are the future of Israel and the Jewish people, and I am glad to play a small role.
Several of us went to shul for Friday night services and the meal at the ulpan was nice. We sang all the familiar Shabbat melodies and afterwards celebrated Ezra's 23rd birthday. On Saturday, I davened (prayed) with my face comfortably planted on my pillow. When I finally awoke, I had lunch, a walk, Havdalah (the ending ceremony of Shabbat), dinner, and than I did homework. The internet was down Motsei Shabbat (after Shabbat) so to all 5 of my loyal readers I must apologize. I will try to publish posts sooner in the future, but please remember this is Israel and nothing works: early, on time, after 4 P.M. on Thursday, or with any degree of high efficiency. It feels like it’s about 30 below inside, Qassams continue to rain down on the Negev, the bathrooms flood, every Israeli speaks English to us (even those olim who don’t know English), many of us haven’t registered for national health care, some of us are poorer than dirt, the laundry machines are always occupied, but life in Israel couldn’t be any better. I’ve never gone without this long by this much while maintaining such a big, satisfied grin on my face.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
High highes and low lows
I'm waiting here inside the office to Ulpan Etzion in what feels like the Jewish United Nations. I hear Russian, French, Spanish, English, Portuguese, Dutch, Serbian (I didn't even think Jews lived there anymore), and Hebrew. We the anglo speaking population are fairly-well represented between Canada, the United States (many from London, Leeds, and Manchester), England, Ireland, Scotland (2 Jews from Glasgow), New Zealand, South Africa, and several from Australia. I requested a roommate who doesn't speak English, whoever he will be, he hasn't arrived yet. My mother would be ever so proud of me; I just came back from linen shopping. Now, I've never shopped for linen. Hell, I don't ever know what size the bed coverings needed to be, but I found something that didn't look too girly and was well priced. I arrived early, felt with all the paper work, took my Hebrew test, and now I'm almost ready to relax. We have a very interesting array of young Jews here, and I'm excited for our ulpan session.
Yesterday was a near perfect day. I woke up at 1230 in the afternoon, went to the bank and set up online banking, an ATM card, then waited at the post office to validate my national insurance card. Afterwards, I met up with another old friend from Boston, Elyssa. She's doing well, heavily engrossed within rabbinic studies. I missed her a lot. We used to fight a lot, but I think we've both become more tame over the last 3 years. In the evening, I attended a play entitled "Matchless" which was a series of 4 comical acts on dating, love, and relationships. I found myself laughing at loud at the familiar humerous pitfalls of dating and love.
Tomorrow, more registration, ice breakers, and maybe we'll learn some Hebrew!
L'hitarot,
David
Yesterday was a near perfect day. I woke up at 1230 in the afternoon, went to the bank and set up online banking, an ATM card, then waited at the post office to validate my national insurance card. Afterwards, I met up with another old friend from Boston, Elyssa. She's doing well, heavily engrossed within rabbinic studies. I missed her a lot. We used to fight a lot, but I think we've both become more tame over the last 3 years. In the evening, I attended a play entitled "Matchless" which was a series of 4 comical acts on dating, love, and relationships. I found myself laughing at loud at the familiar humerous pitfalls of dating and love.
Tomorrow, more registration, ice breakers, and maybe we'll learn some Hebrew!
L'hitarot,
David
Sunday, January 13, 2008
studying vs living and forever frozen
I hate Americans. Actually, allow me to clarify. I hate loud, drunk, immature high school, college students who make life a living hell for Israel and us ex-Americans living in Israel. Over the past few weeks, young American Jews have embarked on Birthright trips all over Israel during their college winter break. I myself participated on a Birthright Israel trip a few years, which helped foster my love for eretz Yisrael and greater Zionism. We partied it up spring break style during that trip, but we never engaged in some of the activities I've seen some of these students and young adults commit within the last week. Now, I fondly remember my college days. If it wasn't for all the pictures I took, G-d knows I would only have dazed, fuzzy memories of Beer pong, strip-poker, and the Sunday morning walk of shame. However, I never welshed out on a bar tap or got so drunk that strangers need to call me a cab out of concern. Some of the younger students are really young Yeshiva (Jewish academy) students just out of American and European high schools. I never drank in high school; I made up for lost time in college though. When you travel abroad, you are an ambassador of your country. Your behavior is under constant scrutiny by the locals. You want to get blitzed beyond belief, fine but don't be surprised if the neighborhood pub wont serve you or your friends the next night after you recover. Over the years, the international community has learned that American youth like to drink, listen to loud music, and than leave the locals to clean up their mess. This is just a small part of why the world hates us; we also ruined Iraq, but minor details.
As I mentioned, many of these walking, drunk zombies are religious yeshiva students which I find very interesting. If emma (mom) and abba (dad) sent me to some far off, poorly supervised, program where I'm on my own for the first time, than I would go hog wild. These are suppose to be nice, religious Jewish boys engrossed in Mishna (commentary of the Torah) study. Many of these students have a superiority complex about their relationship with Judaism. It's as if they have a monopoly on G-d's love. I can't be a true believer because I dont spend all day in yeshiva learning about Halacha (Jewish law) even if they spend all night drinking. I admire the religious, but sometimes they drive me crazy. I had a 30 minute conversation with an old friend the other day. He's an ex-American, Orthodox Jew living in Israel. I mentioned how much exhausting fun I had watching the Patriots defeat the Jaguars between 3-6:30 AM the other day. He congratulated the hometown team, but told me to not waste too much time on hobbies. Apparently, anytime not spent studying Torah, is a waste of energy. Now, this individual is a nice guy, but he's very skeptical even cynical of the outside secular world. He only values Torah. He spends very little time reading outside news because he feels as though he can't trust the news agencies. He isnt concerned with music, culture, art, social events. According to him, the secular world is a corrupt, cesspool of perversion. You only trust what you know, and the only thing we know is the Torah. I always thought people could be trusted after a probationary trial period. G-d makes us neither good nor evil, but neutral with the capacity to chose our holiness or evilness. This guy spend almost every living moment studying. As far as I've known him, he's always only reading, praying, or studying various religious texts. I am envious of his knowledge and devotion to Judaism. To be honest, I wished some of his habits rubbed off on me, but I could never view the world as he does. I grew up in the secular world. I was taught to read various newspapers, enjoy music, art, sports, food, and the company of good people. What kind of world are we living in if you can't trust anyone? It's okay to trust G-d, but not His creation? The ultra-orthodox world digs their heads in the sand (or the Torah) while the outside world around them is forever changing. We can't ignore technology, politics, fitness, woman's rights among other important social causes for traditional ghetto values. We can take the goodness from the haolam goyim (the non-Jewish world) and mix it with our Jewish values. Besides, dont you think G-d sits back with a nice glass of Brandy and enjoys some Mozart after a long day of work?
So, I'm freezing my ass off, wasting more non-Torah time watching the Giants-Cowboys game at Mike's Place in Jerusalem. I might as well be in New York with all these crazy Brooklyn Jews screaming for Tony Romo's head on a platter. I understand New England will experience a blizzard today and tomorrow. The weather is amazingly frigid here even though we average temperatures in the 50's. I have never been this bone-chilling cold, this long before in my life. The problem is that NOTHING NOWHERE has heat. The hostels, restaurants, synagogues, and the homes don't use heat. It's incredibly expensive so Israelis just learn to freeze, and than in the summer, they sweat. Like I said, it's not even that cold out, it's just cold enough everywhere.
Please, feel free to send comments and winter gloves to Mountdew2891@aol.com
Shavua tov,
David
As I mentioned, many of these walking, drunk zombies are religious yeshiva students which I find very interesting. If emma (mom) and abba (dad) sent me to some far off, poorly supervised, program where I'm on my own for the first time, than I would go hog wild. These are suppose to be nice, religious Jewish boys engrossed in Mishna (commentary of the Torah) study. Many of these students have a superiority complex about their relationship with Judaism. It's as if they have a monopoly on G-d's love. I can't be a true believer because I dont spend all day in yeshiva learning about Halacha (Jewish law) even if they spend all night drinking. I admire the religious, but sometimes they drive me crazy. I had a 30 minute conversation with an old friend the other day. He's an ex-American, Orthodox Jew living in Israel. I mentioned how much exhausting fun I had watching the Patriots defeat the Jaguars between 3-6:30 AM the other day. He congratulated the hometown team, but told me to not waste too much time on hobbies. Apparently, anytime not spent studying Torah, is a waste of energy. Now, this individual is a nice guy, but he's very skeptical even cynical of the outside secular world. He only values Torah. He spends very little time reading outside news because he feels as though he can't trust the news agencies. He isnt concerned with music, culture, art, social events. According to him, the secular world is a corrupt, cesspool of perversion. You only trust what you know, and the only thing we know is the Torah. I always thought people could be trusted after a probationary trial period. G-d makes us neither good nor evil, but neutral with the capacity to chose our holiness or evilness. This guy spend almost every living moment studying. As far as I've known him, he's always only reading, praying, or studying various religious texts. I am envious of his knowledge and devotion to Judaism. To be honest, I wished some of his habits rubbed off on me, but I could never view the world as he does. I grew up in the secular world. I was taught to read various newspapers, enjoy music, art, sports, food, and the company of good people. What kind of world are we living in if you can't trust anyone? It's okay to trust G-d, but not His creation? The ultra-orthodox world digs their heads in the sand (or the Torah) while the outside world around them is forever changing. We can't ignore technology, politics, fitness, woman's rights among other important social causes for traditional ghetto values. We can take the goodness from the haolam goyim (the non-Jewish world) and mix it with our Jewish values. Besides, dont you think G-d sits back with a nice glass of Brandy and enjoys some Mozart after a long day of work?
So, I'm freezing my ass off, wasting more non-Torah time watching the Giants-Cowboys game at Mike's Place in Jerusalem. I might as well be in New York with all these crazy Brooklyn Jews screaming for Tony Romo's head on a platter. I understand New England will experience a blizzard today and tomorrow. The weather is amazingly frigid here even though we average temperatures in the 50's. I have never been this bone-chilling cold, this long before in my life. The problem is that NOTHING NOWHERE has heat. The hostels, restaurants, synagogues, and the homes don't use heat. It's incredibly expensive so Israelis just learn to freeze, and than in the summer, they sweat. Like I said, it's not even that cold out, it's just cold enough everywhere.
Please, feel free to send comments and winter gloves to Mountdew2891@aol.com
Shavua tov,
David
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Hail to the Chief
As I sit here in my pajamas, pigging out on a jar of Nutella and a half eaten loaf of challa, I have mixed emotions about President Bush's visit to Israel. Like many far greater presidents before him, Bush attempts to make one last feeble push for peace in this area of the world. Thanks to former president Clinton, who came the closest to a peace deal back in 99-00, Bush actually has a framework to use. Now, I'm not going to bash Bush in this article. There has never been a bigger supporter of Israel in the White House, than this current leader of the free world. My U.S. domestic concerns can and will be saved for another day; what I worry about is how US foreign policy affects Israel. Bush would love a Camp David legacy like that of Jimmy Carter. Hell, I'd love to see it too. However, there are some major and perhaps insurmountable obstacles to overcome in the Middle East, and in a short 2 page post, I will address and solve the issues at hand. Who needs Condi Rice when you have me?
Yesterday, Bush said he was confident a Palestinian state would exist by the end of 2008. If he knows something we don’t know, which I seriously doubt, he should share his Magic 8 Ball with the rest of the world. The Palestinians may very well want peace, I believe it too, but they're not ready to make peace concessions. I hear Olmert mention painful compromise all the time. We withdrew from Gaza, and now the families of Sedrot live under constant fear of Qassam missile attacks everyday. If that wasn’t a painful sacrifice, talk to the 8,000 residents of Neve Dekalim and Kush Katif who were violently uprooted from their homes by the I.D.F (Israel defense forces) back in Aug of 2005. Soon, we will witness more horrible scenes of Jewish soldiers forcing fellow Jews from their homes in Hevron, Gush Etzion, and Ariel. The Israeli government encouraged Jewish settlement development in the territories gained after the 67 War, and now they want to re-nag on their stance. If Olmert wants to give back parts of Arab- East Jerusalem, than I'm okay with it. Those neighborhoods never felt Israeli and were most definitely not Jewish. What I refuse to live without is Israeli control of the religious sites like the Kotel (Western Wall). There will be hell to pay if Olmert gives up one inch of the Jewish Quarter. The religious Zionist right-wingers, which I do not belong to as I am a moderate who believes in peaceful means of protest, will make what happened to Rabbin look like child's play. I fear for Olmert's life if he dare gives up on Jewish Jerusalem. Regardless, Israelis are used to painful sacrifice either through war or peace negotiations.
What I don’t see are concessions from Hamas who still refuses to acknowledge reality: Israel is a Jewish state, she's here to stay, and we will never go back to the non-defendable borders before June of 1967. I've talked to so many civilians and veterans from the 6 Day War, back in June of 1967, and they said time and time again, "I honestly thought we were going to witness and experience a second Holocaust, 20 years after the first." Hamas, Hezbollah, and the rest of the fundamental Islamic fascists think Israel is just a temporary house guest keeping the fire warm for when the Arabs return. They have never acknowledged the Jewish right to a self-determined homeland, even though the useless United Nations voted and passed such a measure almost 60 years ago. We're not going anywhere. Far more civilized societies like Egypt, Turkey, and Jordan have acknowledged our existence, established diplomatic ties, and created lucrative commerce. How does one deal with a partner who refuses to accept your existence?
Abu Mazan, the President of Fattah and our pathetic, sniffling, powerless partner in peace, can't let go of the Naqba, the great tragedy of 1948, when Israel received statehood. This sorry individual is the only "reasonable" politician Bush and Olmert can negotiate with, but he's confused as well. Palestinians in the West Bank can't return to Israel. This may have been their home at one time, but they have no future here, and Israel will have no future if the Arabs are granted the right to return. Israel will lose its Jewish majority if she’s overrun by 10 and 15 family Arab households. The whole purpose of a modern day Israel is a Jewish run state. If we didn’t have a state to call our own, governed by us, and welcoming Jews from all over the world, than another Shoah, or Holocaust, would always loom on the horizon. NEVER AGAIN. Now, I know it was painful for Palestinians to be forced out of their homes, but the future for Palestinians is a homeland in the West Bank. Both sides should be committed to creating a peacefully two-state solution. As I mentioned previously, the last and greatest chance for a peace deal came in the fading moments of former President Clinton's administration. Former Israeli Prime Minister, and current defense minister, was willing to give back 93% of the West Bank to Yassar Arafat, and it still wasn't enough. Do the Palestinians really want peace? I think they do, but they've never shown it. To hell with Hamas, you can’t rationalize with those lunatics anyway. They'll get what they deserve: Nothing.
There are many losers in this struggle, but who says we can't change the attitude around here? Why can’t all sides get their piece of the pie? In December of 2006, I visited Belfast, Northern Ireland, and there lies a model of peace. What can we as Jews learn from the Protestant, British struggle against the Northern Irish Catholics? We can learn a lot. The answer is the economy, stupid. When people realize there is far more money to be made in peace (just look around Belfast and you can begin to see housing complexes and business beginning to enjoy the Irish economic boom) than there ever was in war, that’s when both sides put down their guns. Life in Gaza is a hell-hole; there is nothing worth living for when you don’t have adequate medical supplies, an educational system, or a functioning economy. Gaza is where most of the suicide bombers, during the intifada (Arabic for uprising) came from, not the West Bank which offered people a much better way of life. If Israel, the E.U., the United States, and even the useless United Nations, want peace, they must isolate Gaza, which Hamas has done for us, and invest, invest, invest in the West Bank. If Fattah and Palestinians want Israel to pull out from beyond the security fence, than Fattah must actively and willingly stop terrorism against Jewish settlers and the state of Israel. It’s a classic example of quid pro quo. If you stop terrorist attacks and give up your unreasonable request to return to your previous homes from over 60 years ago, than we pull out of most, if not all lands east of the barrier fence, and invest in your economy. There lies the true road map to peace. Now, that was simple.
Tomorrow I will have all the answers to the genocide in Darfur and a quick guide to peace in Kosovo.
Shalom Habeit (Shalom in the home)
David
Yesterday, Bush said he was confident a Palestinian state would exist by the end of 2008. If he knows something we don’t know, which I seriously doubt, he should share his Magic 8 Ball with the rest of the world. The Palestinians may very well want peace, I believe it too, but they're not ready to make peace concessions. I hear Olmert mention painful compromise all the time. We withdrew from Gaza, and now the families of Sedrot live under constant fear of Qassam missile attacks everyday. If that wasn’t a painful sacrifice, talk to the 8,000 residents of Neve Dekalim and Kush Katif who were violently uprooted from their homes by the I.D.F (Israel defense forces) back in Aug of 2005. Soon, we will witness more horrible scenes of Jewish soldiers forcing fellow Jews from their homes in Hevron, Gush Etzion, and Ariel. The Israeli government encouraged Jewish settlement development in the territories gained after the 67 War, and now they want to re-nag on their stance. If Olmert wants to give back parts of Arab- East Jerusalem, than I'm okay with it. Those neighborhoods never felt Israeli and were most definitely not Jewish. What I refuse to live without is Israeli control of the religious sites like the Kotel (Western Wall). There will be hell to pay if Olmert gives up one inch of the Jewish Quarter. The religious Zionist right-wingers, which I do not belong to as I am a moderate who believes in peaceful means of protest, will make what happened to Rabbin look like child's play. I fear for Olmert's life if he dare gives up on Jewish Jerusalem. Regardless, Israelis are used to painful sacrifice either through war or peace negotiations.
What I don’t see are concessions from Hamas who still refuses to acknowledge reality: Israel is a Jewish state, she's here to stay, and we will never go back to the non-defendable borders before June of 1967. I've talked to so many civilians and veterans from the 6 Day War, back in June of 1967, and they said time and time again, "I honestly thought we were going to witness and experience a second Holocaust, 20 years after the first." Hamas, Hezbollah, and the rest of the fundamental Islamic fascists think Israel is just a temporary house guest keeping the fire warm for when the Arabs return. They have never acknowledged the Jewish right to a self-determined homeland, even though the useless United Nations voted and passed such a measure almost 60 years ago. We're not going anywhere. Far more civilized societies like Egypt, Turkey, and Jordan have acknowledged our existence, established diplomatic ties, and created lucrative commerce. How does one deal with a partner who refuses to accept your existence?
Abu Mazan, the President of Fattah and our pathetic, sniffling, powerless partner in peace, can't let go of the Naqba, the great tragedy of 1948, when Israel received statehood. This sorry individual is the only "reasonable" politician Bush and Olmert can negotiate with, but he's confused as well. Palestinians in the West Bank can't return to Israel. This may have been their home at one time, but they have no future here, and Israel will have no future if the Arabs are granted the right to return. Israel will lose its Jewish majority if she’s overrun by 10 and 15 family Arab households. The whole purpose of a modern day Israel is a Jewish run state. If we didn’t have a state to call our own, governed by us, and welcoming Jews from all over the world, than another Shoah, or Holocaust, would always loom on the horizon. NEVER AGAIN. Now, I know it was painful for Palestinians to be forced out of their homes, but the future for Palestinians is a homeland in the West Bank. Both sides should be committed to creating a peacefully two-state solution. As I mentioned previously, the last and greatest chance for a peace deal came in the fading moments of former President Clinton's administration. Former Israeli Prime Minister, and current defense minister, was willing to give back 93% of the West Bank to Yassar Arafat, and it still wasn't enough. Do the Palestinians really want peace? I think they do, but they've never shown it. To hell with Hamas, you can’t rationalize with those lunatics anyway. They'll get what they deserve: Nothing.
There are many losers in this struggle, but who says we can't change the attitude around here? Why can’t all sides get their piece of the pie? In December of 2006, I visited Belfast, Northern Ireland, and there lies a model of peace. What can we as Jews learn from the Protestant, British struggle against the Northern Irish Catholics? We can learn a lot. The answer is the economy, stupid. When people realize there is far more money to be made in peace (just look around Belfast and you can begin to see housing complexes and business beginning to enjoy the Irish economic boom) than there ever was in war, that’s when both sides put down their guns. Life in Gaza is a hell-hole; there is nothing worth living for when you don’t have adequate medical supplies, an educational system, or a functioning economy. Gaza is where most of the suicide bombers, during the intifada (Arabic for uprising) came from, not the West Bank which offered people a much better way of life. If Israel, the E.U., the United States, and even the useless United Nations, want peace, they must isolate Gaza, which Hamas has done for us, and invest, invest, invest in the West Bank. If Fattah and Palestinians want Israel to pull out from beyond the security fence, than Fattah must actively and willingly stop terrorism against Jewish settlers and the state of Israel. It’s a classic example of quid pro quo. If you stop terrorist attacks and give up your unreasonable request to return to your previous homes from over 60 years ago, than we pull out of most, if not all lands east of the barrier fence, and invest in your economy. There lies the true road map to peace. Now, that was simple.
Tomorrow I will have all the answers to the genocide in Darfur and a quick guide to peace in Kosovo.
Shalom Habeit (Shalom in the home)
David
Monday, January 7, 2008
Isreality
For those of you who have forgotten where exactly I am in Israel or what I am doing with my life these days, I have been exploring the entire country looking at various masters/post college programs. At times, I have been impressed with the international M.B.A programs but disappointed at the costs and certain language stipulations. The general rule of thumb is if the program is in ivrit (Hebrew) it’s totally covered by the student authority since I am an oleh chadash (new immigrant). If the program is in English or any other language, than the program is only covered up to 3,000 a year by the student authority. Keep in mind the price of education is drastically less in Israel, as in most parts of the world, than compared to the cost in the United States. Most international business or law schools use English as the prominent language since many foreign and Israeli students speak English, want to learn English, or expect to use English as a global marketing tool.
Although Hebrew University is in a great location, Jerusalem, the only school I saw was Rothberg which struck me as one of those hippy-dippy Judaic studies departments for study abroad undergrads. Tel Aviv was ok. The international M.B.A was decent, the school has adequate student services, and I’d have a lot of fun in Tel-Aviv, but I still wasn’t impressed. Haifa University was disappointing, other than the drop-dead gorgeous view over looking the Mediterranean Sea and the foothills to the Golan, the presentation was lacking. Ben Gurion University, located in Be’er Sheva, might have been a real find, but the administration refused to speak to us in English. Now, you won’t find anybody who wants to learn Hebrew more than I do. I think classes should be taught in Hebrew, but the freakin tour of the school, where impressionable American students are meeting faculty, should be in English. They could have spoken English and won us over with their culturally rich student body and snazzy city, but their stubbornness came off poorly. Besides, Be’er Sheva is in the beautiful Negev (desert), and although there is a vibrant student life, I personally find the city is in the middle of nowhere.
I felt Bar Ilan was the finest public school out of the entire bunch, and I could see myself studying in their international M.B.A. program. IDC, don’t ask me what it stands for, offered by far the most interesting Master’s programs with the best student services. Located in a beautifully, newly built campus in Herzilya, IDC had the usual M.B.A’s in English but 2 unique Master’s in Counter-Terrorism/Homeland security and diplomacy/international strategy. The Master’s degrees in governmental tactics and policy are internationally focused and are only 13 months long! The campus is brand, spanking new with state of the art computer labs, and I even think housing is available on campus. I noticed many Americans, Israelis, and Europeans meandering about on campus which added to the cultural diversity. As I sit here in a Jerusalem coffee shop, my mind races with the creative possibilities of what a Master’s in counter-terrorism and homeland security, combined with an English, Hebrew, and French background, could offer in these highly volatile and uncertain times. PATRIOT ACT!!!!
A quick little anti-Semitic story to tide my adoring fans over: I was leaving my program and checking out of my hotel on Saturday, after a rainy Shabbat in Jerusalem, when I noticed dozen and dozens of Russian speaking Christians running around the hotel. One older woman was flashing like 300 US dollars. I looked at her, not to be noisy, but to kind of warn her against flashing that kind of money around. She saw me glance at her money, took out one of the biggest, fattest wooden cross, shoved her money away, and give me the worst don’t steal my money you dirty Jew look ever. You Borat lovers would have laughed so hard.
On Sunday, I woke up at 7am , prayed at the Western Wall (always a very emotional experience) and then had the craziest day in a long time. Please, keep in mind that Sunday's are regular business days in Israel. Afterwards, I taxied over to the Nefesh B'Nfesh offices way over in Western Jerusalem for my Teudat Zehut (Israeli ID card), bused back to the Mercantile Bank (Will Smith in the Pursuit of Happiness style), opened an account and probably got ripped off. Don't worry, you're not Israeli until the banks take advantage of you. It's part of the absorption process. In the afternoon, I went to the Lishkut Haguiys (army draft board), but they told me to come back when my Hebrew was better (You can relax mom and dad; I haven't gone all Full Metal Jacket just yet). In the evening, I purchased a cell phone plan which took over an hour. This was by far the most frustrating task of the day, but the clerk was really cute, very helpful, and she spoke English fairly well. At night, I met Suzy, an old friend from Boston, for dinner. I haven't seen her in over 2 years. I was delighted to hear her exciting tales of life in rabbinical school here in Jerusalem.
As previously mentioned, I have a new cell phone number, and just like the army, I signed my life away to a 3 year mobile phone agreement. Feel free to email me if you're interested in my number. I know you're just dying to pay international long-distance rates!
I spoke French a lot today, my Hebrew is getting better, and slowly my English is worsening.
Tomorrow President Bush visits us!!
L'hitarot,
David
Although Hebrew University is in a great location, Jerusalem, the only school I saw was Rothberg which struck me as one of those hippy-dippy Judaic studies departments for study abroad undergrads. Tel Aviv was ok. The international M.B.A was decent, the school has adequate student services, and I’d have a lot of fun in Tel-Aviv, but I still wasn’t impressed. Haifa University was disappointing, other than the drop-dead gorgeous view over looking the Mediterranean Sea and the foothills to the Golan, the presentation was lacking. Ben Gurion University, located in Be’er Sheva, might have been a real find, but the administration refused to speak to us in English. Now, you won’t find anybody who wants to learn Hebrew more than I do. I think classes should be taught in Hebrew, but the freakin tour of the school, where impressionable American students are meeting faculty, should be in English. They could have spoken English and won us over with their culturally rich student body and snazzy city, but their stubbornness came off poorly. Besides, Be’er Sheva is in the beautiful Negev (desert), and although there is a vibrant student life, I personally find the city is in the middle of nowhere.
I felt Bar Ilan was the finest public school out of the entire bunch, and I could see myself studying in their international M.B.A. program. IDC, don’t ask me what it stands for, offered by far the most interesting Master’s programs with the best student services. Located in a beautifully, newly built campus in Herzilya, IDC had the usual M.B.A’s in English but 2 unique Master’s in Counter-Terrorism/Homeland security and diplomacy/international strategy. The Master’s degrees in governmental tactics and policy are internationally focused and are only 13 months long! The campus is brand, spanking new with state of the art computer labs, and I even think housing is available on campus. I noticed many Americans, Israelis, and Europeans meandering about on campus which added to the cultural diversity. As I sit here in a Jerusalem coffee shop, my mind races with the creative possibilities of what a Master’s in counter-terrorism and homeland security, combined with an English, Hebrew, and French background, could offer in these highly volatile and uncertain times. PATRIOT ACT!!!!
A quick little anti-Semitic story to tide my adoring fans over: I was leaving my program and checking out of my hotel on Saturday, after a rainy Shabbat in Jerusalem, when I noticed dozen and dozens of Russian speaking Christians running around the hotel. One older woman was flashing like 300 US dollars. I looked at her, not to be noisy, but to kind of warn her against flashing that kind of money around. She saw me glance at her money, took out one of the biggest, fattest wooden cross, shoved her money away, and give me the worst don’t steal my money you dirty Jew look ever. You Borat lovers would have laughed so hard.
On Sunday, I woke up at 7am , prayed at the Western Wall (always a very emotional experience) and then had the craziest day in a long time. Please, keep in mind that Sunday's are regular business days in Israel. Afterwards, I taxied over to the Nefesh B'Nfesh offices way over in Western Jerusalem for my Teudat Zehut (Israeli ID card), bused back to the Mercantile Bank (Will Smith in the Pursuit of Happiness style), opened an account and probably got ripped off. Don't worry, you're not Israeli until the banks take advantage of you. It's part of the absorption process. In the afternoon, I went to the Lishkut Haguiys (army draft board), but they told me to come back when my Hebrew was better (You can relax mom and dad; I haven't gone all Full Metal Jacket just yet). In the evening, I purchased a cell phone plan which took over an hour. This was by far the most frustrating task of the day, but the clerk was really cute, very helpful, and she spoke English fairly well. At night, I met Suzy, an old friend from Boston, for dinner. I haven't seen her in over 2 years. I was delighted to hear her exciting tales of life in rabbinical school here in Jerusalem.
As previously mentioned, I have a new cell phone number, and just like the army, I signed my life away to a 3 year mobile phone agreement. Feel free to email me if you're interested in my number. I know you're just dying to pay international long-distance rates!
I spoke French a lot today, my Hebrew is getting better, and slowly my English is worsening.
Tomorrow President Bush visits us!!
L'hitarot,
David
Friday, January 4, 2008
Smoke em if you gottem
After returning to Israel for only one week, I have reeducated myself to the great love foreigners, or more importantly non-Americans, have for the art of smoking. In the United States, as you know, you can’t smoke anywhere. New city, state-wide, and eventually national laws have outlawed smoking in most public places. What’s the new ordinance now? You can smoke in your basement with the lights out from 12:45-3:30 am and only if your neighbor doesn’t complain and narc you out to law enforcement.
I applaud anti-smoking measures; second hand smoke has been proven to kill, and reeking of smoke has been proven to kill my chances of scoring. I distinctly remember accompanying a friend to the hospital in France only to see the attending doctor light up a tasty Lucky right in the middle of the emergency room. This was only 5 years ago, and I think even French doctors received the memo on the nasty side effects of smoking. However, my short time in Israel has conjured up post traumatic images of smoggy, seedy bars where every Jacques, Pierre, or now Aviv and Shmuel, ask, “Do you have a light?” I’m convinced fetuses smoke in Israel; they come out of the womb with a pack of Misty Slims needing matches. The problem has become so important that the Knesset (Israeli parliament) recently outlawed smoking in public places, but just like every other law in this country, enforcement is lacking. In the 1980’s and early 1990’s, the U.S. legislature aggressively went after the tobacco companies and their ridiculous powerful lobbies by brain-washing an entire generation, me being one of them, to the health risks of smoking. Growing up, I can remember aunts, uncles, cousins, even my mother for many years smoked, and then slowly but surely they all quit for health, financial, or common sense reasons. I wonder when will Israelis realize this? If an Iranian nuke doesn’t finish us off, the good old two packs a day habit will.
I applaud anti-smoking measures; second hand smoke has been proven to kill, and reeking of smoke has been proven to kill my chances of scoring. I distinctly remember accompanying a friend to the hospital in France only to see the attending doctor light up a tasty Lucky right in the middle of the emergency room. This was only 5 years ago, and I think even French doctors received the memo on the nasty side effects of smoking. However, my short time in Israel has conjured up post traumatic images of smoggy, seedy bars where every Jacques, Pierre, or now Aviv and Shmuel, ask, “Do you have a light?” I’m convinced fetuses smoke in Israel; they come out of the womb with a pack of Misty Slims needing matches. The problem has become so important that the Knesset (Israeli parliament) recently outlawed smoking in public places, but just like every other law in this country, enforcement is lacking. In the 1980’s and early 1990’s, the U.S. legislature aggressively went after the tobacco companies and their ridiculous powerful lobbies by brain-washing an entire generation, me being one of them, to the health risks of smoking. Growing up, I can remember aunts, uncles, cousins, even my mother for many years smoked, and then slowly but surely they all quit for health, financial, or common sense reasons. I wonder when will Israelis realize this? If an Iranian nuke doesn’t finish us off, the good old two packs a day habit will.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
fantasy becoming reality while real hope is dashed
So apparently two earth shattering events have occurred since my aliyah. Benazir Bhutto was brutally slaughtered in a political assassination, and I won our fantasy football league. Frankly, I don’t know which event is more amazing. I suppose my victory is more remarkable since I have never remotely won anything in fantasy league history, while Bhutto seemed to have a bull’s-eye on her back ever since she reentered Pakistani politics several months ago.
Bhutto, in life and death, will be seen as yet another tragic, misunderstood individual who was probably taken away from us far too early. Her lists of accomplishments are not only commendable but worthy of imitation. She was the first woman ever elected prime minister in a Muslim country. However, her destiny was well paved; Bhutto's father was prime minister of Pakistan in the 70's before he too was executed. Hmm..Do I see a trend here?
Well, Israel and the United States have seriously lost a deep friend in Bhutto. You can add another notch in the global Muslim extremist's belt. Things have gotten so bad in Pakistan; many Pakistanis are looking to make spring break in Afghanistan a permanent settlement. Elections, remember when Musharraf promised free and fair elections, seem a distant memory and an empty promise. This timely assassination plays right into Musharraf''s ever increasingly weak democratic hand and Al Qaeda’s fanatical ideology and world-wide jihad. Bhutto was probably the only real politician Pakistan had; she was also the only real opposition to the sad current state of affairs. Martial law hasn't seemed to quell the need for democracy. The will of the Pakistani people will be tried greatly these next few weeks and months. Hopefully a true heir will emerge and Musharraf's regime can finally be challenged via fair elections. The U.S.-Pakistani relationship has been tumultuous at best. Musharraf's inability to crack down on Al Qaeda has rendered his services useless and ineffective. We needed him at a very vulnerable hour in American foreign policy, and he failed us. He was more worried about his public approval from the powerful cross border, gun slinging AL Qaeda than appealing to the sensible moderates within his country and fighting terrorism. Now, he serves Bin Laden lunch everyday and thanks him for it.
In exceedingly more pressing issues, I have been crowned the champion of this year's Tom Brady's illegitimate children fantasy football league. I would love to thank Chris Palmer and Clinton Portis respectively for helping me out tremendously. Your commitment to our team is well appreciated. I would also like to thank Seattle's defense for scoring -2 points in the Super Bowl game. Had the Seahawks earned a measly +3 points, I would have lost. Borrowing a line from Dennis Green, "They were who we thought they were." Whatever that means. I will be looking to collect, somehow 5,600 miles away, my fantasy earnings, and rest assure I will fly home, find you, and wreak havoc on all of you sorry deadbeats, Mossad (Israeli C.I.A.) style if I am not paid.
Peace in the Middle East,
David
Bhutto, in life and death, will be seen as yet another tragic, misunderstood individual who was probably taken away from us far too early. Her lists of accomplishments are not only commendable but worthy of imitation. She was the first woman ever elected prime minister in a Muslim country. However, her destiny was well paved; Bhutto's father was prime minister of Pakistan in the 70's before he too was executed. Hmm..Do I see a trend here?
Well, Israel and the United States have seriously lost a deep friend in Bhutto. You can add another notch in the global Muslim extremist's belt. Things have gotten so bad in Pakistan; many Pakistanis are looking to make spring break in Afghanistan a permanent settlement. Elections, remember when Musharraf promised free and fair elections, seem a distant memory and an empty promise. This timely assassination plays right into Musharraf''s ever increasingly weak democratic hand and Al Qaeda’s fanatical ideology and world-wide jihad. Bhutto was probably the only real politician Pakistan had; she was also the only real opposition to the sad current state of affairs. Martial law hasn't seemed to quell the need for democracy. The will of the Pakistani people will be tried greatly these next few weeks and months. Hopefully a true heir will emerge and Musharraf's regime can finally be challenged via fair elections. The U.S.-Pakistani relationship has been tumultuous at best. Musharraf's inability to crack down on Al Qaeda has rendered his services useless and ineffective. We needed him at a very vulnerable hour in American foreign policy, and he failed us. He was more worried about his public approval from the powerful cross border, gun slinging AL Qaeda than appealing to the sensible moderates within his country and fighting terrorism. Now, he serves Bin Laden lunch everyday and thanks him for it.
In exceedingly more pressing issues, I have been crowned the champion of this year's Tom Brady's illegitimate children fantasy football league. I would love to thank Chris Palmer and Clinton Portis respectively for helping me out tremendously. Your commitment to our team is well appreciated. I would also like to thank Seattle's defense for scoring -2 points in the Super Bowl game. Had the Seahawks earned a measly +3 points, I would have lost. Borrowing a line from Dennis Green, "They were who we thought they were." Whatever that means. I will be looking to collect, somehow 5,600 miles away, my fantasy earnings, and rest assure I will fly home, find you, and wreak havoc on all of you sorry deadbeats, Mossad (Israeli C.I.A.) style if I am not paid.
Peace in the Middle East,
David
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